moments of unease.

There have so many of them, the moments of unease caused by the embarassment that follows the realization of a careless word, or action, that I have lost count of them by now. The variety of of such incidents that have resulted in me squirming with unease and be red-faced are so comprehensive that I could, had I noted them down in a notebook or some such thing, have authored my own '1001 ways to embarass yourself' guide. Some of them have been caused by a careless word the consequences of which I had not had the maturity to think through, while there have been some that my dear friend Nitin aptly describes to be falling in the category of 'Kulhaadi pe pair maarnaa' which for the benefit of not-so-erudite-in-Hindi clan means 'throwing your leg on an axe-blade'. Yet, there are some that are enforced on me without my own consent and despite my vehement opposition to the same. I have tried to fight them off on many occasions, but before I could express my angst at one and say, 'What the ...', there pile up many more of them against my name. If one is wondering why am I suddenly initiated into memoirs of my embarassing moments, the answer is simple enough - it happened once again yesterday. And so embarassed I am, more so today, about the incident and that there seeming to be no escape from facing it, that all I could think of to bear it was to look at this in comparison to some others from the past and then try to it-could-have-been-worse myself. I have learnt to laugh at myself on such occasions, for without any sign of escape, there seem to be very little options than sit and laugh at myself and pretend to be brave about it.