I do not know whether to take this as a positive sign or a turn for worse, but the discussion with my Guide today was a landmark one. In the course of his usual criticism of my work, to which I have, more or less, grown immune, he popped a question to me asking if I was actually interested in NLP, and my answer to that
question, in a moment of truth and courage, was a confident NO. There were the usual questions as to why this was not communicated to him earlier and how lack of interest (read passion) can affect the progress of a project.
I was surprised that such a discussion was actually materializing in front of me. I know I have had this reluctance to communicate since the time I can remember. It was there in my childhood, my schooling and during my under-graduate years. Initially, I had thought an M.Tech in NLP will not turn out to be so bad. Then, the optimism had turned into a feeling of loyalty, then finally into a desperation for my Masters. However, in all these periods of transitions, the communication did not happen!
Lesson in Life: If there is something that you feel, want to convey or express, do it immediately. This way we could avoid a lot of inconvenient situations for us and for others.
After another round of his critical remarks, which by my usual standards were quite subdued, we came to some consensus about my work and decided on a problem, the initial report for which is due to be submitted the next week. I am not sure if I did the right thing by being honest with him, but I know one thing that a BIG BURDEN has been taken off my chest and I am happy with that feeling. :)
The moment of truth had arrived!
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