Finally...

I graduate as M.Tech.
I am happy.

Dost dost na raha...

this is what happens when one shows too much enthusiasm for a chocolate. he ends up losing one instead. check out Nitin's chocolate losers list.

ps: I am not going to let my Rs. 25/- so easily. ;-)

ps: will now post only after my defence which is tomorrow in the morning. (biting-my-nails-emoticon to be put here)

India down under...

Somebody figure out a way soon to get that bloke called Ponting out quickly. It seems the only way India can get him out is by first allowing him to score a double hundred!

Kumble is turning out to be the spear head of Indian attack! Is it because he is bowling far better in Australia this time than he ever did, or is it because he is the one-eyed-man among the blind ?

A suggestion to Ganguly - Start wearing a foot long high heels shoes. That may enable him to play down all the short balls that he receives from the Aussies.

The umpiring in this series has been of pathetic quality. Though they have erred on both sides, it is the Aussies who have benefitted the most out of the umpires' blunders.

Ashish Nehra may just walk to the crease and roll his arm over. It doesn't matter how fast he runs if all that he can manage to put is a modest 125 kmph of pace on his deliveries.

The only swing one gets to see when India is bowling is the free swing of bats of the Aussie batsmen.

India, on this tour, has quite successfully been able to wrap up the opposition tail in quick time!

More on India's tour down under later...

The dissertation...

Yes. Its finally happening. On moday, another chapter in my life will come to an end. Well not exactly, but it would have taken a definite step in that direction. Its a mixed feeling I am carrying today. I am scared, I am excited, I am happy and I am worried. Let us hope that it all goes off well.

It might not be very soon before I leave IIT. Most likely, I may have to stay back for a month or so. But, that is all secondary to me. I do know one thing for sure. I am going to experience an unimaginable level of happiness the day I am through with IIT life. It has given me a lot in the last 2-1/2 years and I guess that was more than what I sought anyway.

Want a Chocolate?

Interesting way to lure people to sign in on one's Guest Book! Chk out Nitin Verma's homepage for one such gimmick. :)


An honest suggestion: Do not succumb to the temptation! ;-)

Merry Christmas to all!

Dull...

Mood-I ends today. From tomorrow IIT will be sooooo dull. I wouldn't want to go out of my hostel. It will be so depressing not to find any of those babes I had been chasing for four days!
:((

manzil...

zindagi ki nayi raah leke hulchul aayi hai
mujhe nazar mere saamne manzil aayi hai

tanhaiyon mein dube the dil ke sab armaan
lehron pe kashti khwabon ki machal aayi hai

bhatak raha tha main kin anjaan rahon par
vo kaun jo sahi raah par le chal aayi hai

nakamiyon ke veeraano ka mujhpe saaya tha
raah mein jeet ki ik shama jal aayi hai

kya kahe 'aks' us khuda ki meherbaani ka
khud uske dar se (meri) kismat badal aayi hai

I am waiting for the 29th!

Ghazal!!!

After going thru the Ghazal fundaes on Aldrin's blog, here is my attempt at putting all of them into practice. My first official ghazal. :-D

once a lovely day, to write, we sat
from the morning to night, we sat.

that which could lay a sword to rest
with a pen of such might, we sat.

sleepy we feel lying on the couch
on a chair, bolt upright, we sat.

restless by nature that my mind is
holdin' our thoughts tight, we sat.

there ain't a respect for shayars here
Oh 'Aks', this despite, we sat.

Sometimes...

Gay Abandon has to make way for caution!

Innocent friends can inadvertently bring one more trouble than shrewd foes...!

Moral of the story:

Another important lesson in life for me to learn.

count down begins...

too much work and too few days..!!!!

How to get smarter?

Well, I was watching the National Geographic today and there was a program on Human Brain. Since I have a great interest in Biology and especially the Brain, I was watching it intently until I was forced by Nitin to leave my chair and leave for the lab. :D

Anyway, here are some interesting pointers to people who want to see themselves smarter in a few years' time:


1. Run and get smarter
http://www.canoe.ca/Health9902/23_fitness.html


2. for the lazy bums, here is a hardware alternative :D
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2843099.stm

Updates...

1. Was away in Delhi for my cousin's marriage. Attended it, enjoyed it.
2. It is much too cold in Delhi as compared to Mumbai.
3. Guide is away for 11 days, so enjoying the vacations.
4. I am happy. :)

Time travel...

I watched the movie "The Time Machine" yesterday and I must say I was quite impressed by the little explanation that it provided to the question of our inability to change our past and how even time machines are futile in fulfilling that ambition of ours.

The protagonist in the movie loses his lady-love to a freak accident and then decides to build a time machine to change the past. But, in his re-attempt, he loses her again. This makes him wonder why he could not prevent her death to which he gets an answer later, that had she not died, he would never have invented the time machine and thus he himself is the reason for her death!

That means, whatver we may do, we may never able to prevent what fate has in store for us. Thus, somehow, bringing into our lives, an unknown known as providence and a theory to naively explain the unexplained; a theory that is popularly known as God!

And some thought science could overcome religion! :)

Remixes...

Oh! I just hate them. Whatever crap they bring out in the name of remixes does not do any justice to the efforts that original composers had put in the song. Remix artists not only kill their art but also have the audacity to term it as "creativity". More appalling is the "use" of female models in the skimpiest of all outfits in their videos, as if to distract the viewers from the actual trash that they are being subjected to.

I wonder why would anyone even opt for a remix when they are far below the original in terms of emotions, melody, and quality. Buying remix albums is like abetting plagiarism and supporting unscrupulous intentions of some lousy lethargic good-for-nothing people who want to make quick buck on someone else's hard work.

Dating...

No! This is not about my (fictitious) date last night, or about any fundaes on the art of dating. I am pretty much inexperienced, goofy and a nervous wreck when it comes to asking girls out on a date. :)

This is about my friend who was until not so distant past considered to be worse than me in the matters of female acquaintances. It is amazing to me how in the last month or so, he changed so much that makes me feel like a nut sitting in the coziness of my lab typing this on my blog when I should have been sharing a delicious cup of coffee with a delightful young lady. :(

What is it that has brought about this transition in my friend? As far as I know, he did not attend any "classes" to learn this art, no lectures, no books, no secret meetings of losers etc. It was almost as if one fine day he decided to get out of his bed from the other side and things changed for him completely thereafter.

Oh I know, "life is like that.. and good things will happen to me too...", but hey, I am not complaining. I am sure my day will come too. I just have to figure out the right side of my bed to get out from. :D

Ho Gaya!!!!

Paper select ho gaya... I am happy. :)
I am excited. I am scared. I am delighted. :D

Worries..., but why?

"If a problem has a solution, then there is no point in worrying about it.
If it does not have a solution, then worrying will not get you one."

Heard this wonderful dialogue in "Seven Years in Tibet".

Very interesting words! Not the movie though.

"Pane"less Windows!!

This is especially for people like Zoheb and Bill Gates in particular. In its bid to make operating system ridiculously user-friendly, Windows has actually made jobs for people like system administrators and developers a tedious one. Why? Why can't there be a developer-friendly or SysAd-friendly clause in Windows philosophy?

I have been struggling with an upgradation of Windows NT to Windows 2000 Server while upgrading my hard disk simulatenously from 6 GB to 40 GB one. It is really a "pain" in the neck!

Kill "Bill", anyone?

"Everything that has a beginning has an end"

I guess what began as a great idea in sci-fi movies, bordering on philosophy, amazing dialogues, breathtaking action, and fantastic story in the minds of Wachowski brothers had to end someday. That sure seems to be the case in the third instalment of the Matrix trilogy. The directors seem to have run out of any more ideas. The story - well if you care to call it a story at all - did not move at all. It was more like watching a Hindi movie; high on emotions and less on content. Not that I attempt to undermine Hindi movies; they do their part pretty well. But to expect a movie that has almost created a cult following to end up in a such a way was utterly saddenning.

Anyway, those who have watched the previous two, would go for the movie, this "mini-review" notwithstanding. But those who haven't, and are unsure about watching this movie, are sincerely requested to spend their time and money on a more fulfilling activity.

The hour of truth arrives...

I do not know whether to take this as a positive sign or a turn for worse, but the discussion with my Guide today was a landmark one. In the course of his usual criticism of my work, to which I have, more or less, grown immune, he popped a question to me asking if I was actually interested in NLP, and my answer to that
question, in a moment of truth and courage, was a confident NO. There were the usual questions as to why this was not communicated to him earlier and how lack of interest (read passion) can affect the progress of a project.

I was surprised that such a discussion was actually materializing in front of me. I know I have had this reluctance to communicate since the time I can remember. It was there in my childhood, my schooling and during my under-graduate years. Initially, I had thought an M.Tech in NLP will not turn out to be so bad. Then, the optimism had turned into a feeling of loyalty, then finally into a desperation for my Masters. However, in all these periods of transitions, the communication did not happen!

Lesson in Life: If there is something that you feel, want to convey or express, do it immediately. This way we could avoid a lot of inconvenient situations for us and for others.

After another round of his critical remarks, which by my usual standards were quite subdued, we came to some consensus about my work and decided on a problem, the initial report for which is due to be submitted the next week. I am not sure if I did the right thing by being honest with him, but I know one thing that a BIG BURDEN has been taken off my chest and I am happy with that feeling. :)

The moment of truth had arrived!

"We all float down here"

This line that lured the children in Stephen King's "IT" sometimes presents to me a very tempting alternative to our life styles. We all seem to be running for something. A lot of us do not have a remote idea as to what is that they are running for. Yet, the race continues.

And in times of stress as these, I feel I should just let myself free of all these shackles and "float". "floating" is analogous to a feeling of freedom, levity, a dreamy existence, and a feeling of uncontrolled movement where we are free to go wherever we wish, do whatever we want and there are no restrictions, no bonds, no constraints etc.

Yup, the clown really knew how to tempt the children! :)

New home...

Ok! This is for all those who are reading this.

Just redid the look of my home page. Isn't it cool?

Contrast it with the Old home page .

Please comment (only) if you like it. :D

Waning skills....

Finally, the probability of not getting selected into the Institute's cricket team yet again stares at me. Although there are hundreds of reasons I can probably enumerate for this mishap, I am unable to bring myself to the reality that probably I am no longer a capable player. :( It is tough to come to terms with this fact. I guess it is part of life that while we learn new skills & knowledge as we move on, we tend to forget a lot of others too. Or probably Jean-Baptiste Lamarck's law of use and disuse applies to skills and knowledge too. :)

I am learning a very important lesson in my life and that is - I cannot be good at everything that I do. There are some who are better than me in some of the things that I do. Whatever I am good at, I should not ignore it and let it die; I must keep indulging myself in that activity to keep myself good at it.

As of now, I seem headed to book a place in the stands for the Inter-IIT cricket matches.

home sweet home...

jab shaam ka ghana saaya pada
rah mein liye suitcase khada
ek lift ki taak mein rah to taktey
kabhi aage to kabhi peeche jhaanktey

aankhon mein ek chamak si thi
hoton ki muskurahat bejhijhak si thi
na koi ticket na koi plan bada
suitcase mein jaane kya saamaan pada

bas utha liye jo aaya haath mein
jo dikha use le chala saath mein
ab to ghar jaa ke hi aaraam hoga
teen dino se pehle na koi kaam hoga

ye haath na ruke ye kadam na toote
aisa sunahara mauka na choote
nikal pada bina kuch soche
koi fikr nahi ki koi kya pooche

India-Australia ka koi match tha
dekhne walo ke man mein romanch tha
kintu use tyagne ka bhi koi gham na tha
ab itna sab sochne ka bhi dam na tha

tha ek paper jo submit kiya
vohi jo do baar pehle pit gaya
ab na jaane kya parinaam honge
mere liye to bas ab ram honge

ab to keval vohi rah dikhayenge
meri naiyya kabhi to paar lagayenge.

Jai Ramji ki!

I wish all software in this world belonged to a single religious analogue of computer science. There would be no conflicts between codes, no missing "dll"s, no exceptions ... !!

Grrrrr... x-( I have been struggling with installing PHP for IIS for two days now, and it doesn't seem to be working.Damn Microsoft!!!!!

Black Hole!!!! In all my life, I have been accorded a number of adjectives, appreciating me or condemning me; some based on the colour of my skin, some on my belly etc. Never have I been called a BLACK HOLE! Well, this title was finally conferred upon me today. Why? Because apparently "there is no response from me on anything I am asked to do". Can't blame anyone, can I? It has been my attitude since childhood to let my work speak while I keep my mouth shut. This, somewhere down the line, extrapolated into an attitude that would prevent me from communicating until I have finished the work. Sometimes, the results are immediate, but more often than not, they take a lot longer than what I presume. This results in suspicions in the minds of those who had asked me to do the job, leaving them wondering whether I am actually doing it or not.

I have realized this over a period of time how important is communication. Lack of communication can cause serious mis-conceptions to rise. On the flip side, too much communication can divulge more than what you may have liked to convey. Communication is an art; an art of varying styles that depends directly on who one wishes to communicate with. A corporate organization runs on communication. Weekly meetings, presentations, seminars are held in order to communicate the status of work.

Question in my mind: Is it necessary? Why cant we follow a more simplistic approach of "packet-switched networks"? A statement/request/order is issued to someone and then no communication until:
1. One finishes the work and then wants to communicate this important fact to all.
2. One comes across a dead-end and desperately seeks help.
3. One cannot do it and wants to let others know abt it.
4. The Coffee machine is broken and the boss wants to know who did it.

Why does it always have to be a "circuit-switched network" wherein one needs to always be in touch with who-is-who of the organization to let them know what have you been upto? It will be interesting to know if any organizations run on my principle and not CSN. If yes, I would like to know how successful they have been.

As for now, this black hole must revive himself.....

Its nice to get in touch with one's roots, in touch with one's history, traditions, culture. I always hear my parents with interest when they narrate stories of their childhoold; what were the restrictions on them, what was the social outlook then, how did they get around them and lots of stories that reflect a lot about the kind of family background I hail from. Far more interesting are the stories that I get to hear from my grandparents; how life was back then in villages, how they managed to get around problems (mostly financial), what, if any, great deeds did any of my family members commit? It is wonderful to hear about their lives, the hardships they had to face to come where they are now; a position where they could provide their children a life far more comfortable than what they had to experience. It is inspiring!

Also wonderful are the old songs that my grandfather would sing for my father, the devotional hymns that my grandmother taught my mother and which were passed on to me partially. I still feel exhilarated to hear my grand dad's voice on the tape recorder. Hearing him sing, I realize how far back do the singing genes in me go. I would feel blessed if I could sing half as well as he did. Some of those songs have carved a permanent place in my heart and can never be obliterated till the end of my life. I wish I would be able to imbibe much of the great culture that I belong to and be able to pass it onto the future generations for them to treasure it.

Well... nothing much to write these days.. life is going through a monotonic phase where I am labouring through my MTech Project, the final stage of which is due and things dont seem to be looking very bright currently. The offer letters for PSPL have arrived. We are officially on board! Just want to climb atop a hill and scream my heart out, sing a lot of "senti" songs and complete "IT" that I am reading currently.

Btw, "IT" is one of Stephen King's creations and my first experience of his writing. Though the description is a tad too verbose, the story keeps one on tenterhooks almost all the time. Already, I see images of each character floating in front of my eyes. Maybe, one day I will make a film based on this story. RGV, here I come! :)

Until then, one would have to rely on the book to experience "IT"!

History repeats itself! My belief in this adage has been strengthened today. What was to happen two years back, happens eventually while in the meantime I have nothing more to show except the time I have spent and the experience that I have gained here in IIT Bombay.

Two years back, there was this novice computer engineering student aspiring to earn a good job, who lands up in the city of Pune. Of the hundreds of software companies that had cropped up in the previous two years, he had just one in mind; a company he and his mates back in college looked at in awe, mostly for the money that it promised to its recruits. After undergoing a test and two rigorous inteviews testing him on every aspect of his technical knowledge, he finally managed to fulfill his ambition - Akshay Iyer had joined PSPL, Pune.

Cut to the present times, a computer science graduate, hoping to become a post-graduate, still no better than the novice computer engg student in every respect is sitting nervously on the edge of the sofa in the placement office, waiting for his turn to be called in to face the interview panel. In the evening, there was the same anxiety as he had felt two years back, the same uncertainty that was to turn into a pleasant happiness soon. The news trickled in slowly and history had repeated itself - Akshay Iyer got into PSPL again!

Yes, ironically with same salary that was being offered two years back, the same status in the member hierarchy in the company. Good or bad, I am not sure, but Akshay Iyer has managed to remain where he was two years back!

Here I am, finally. After a long time, the desire to key something down has re-kindled in me, partly inspired by the blogs of some of my friends and partly due to the guilt of letting this blog go unattended. The last week has been eventful. The placement thing, the resume writing, the convocation, the confluence of my friends back in IIT, Malharfest etc. has left me with some mixed feelings in the end. The convocation is a great event; its grand nature, the pride and happiness on the faces of students, exceeded only by the pride and happiness of their parents, is an indicative of the pleasure that hardwork, success and achievement (in that order only) bring along with them. One of the proudest moments that a student can ever experience is receiving the President's Gold Medal, indicative of a student's superlative intelligence and dedication. There has not been an occasion when I have not gone misty-eyed after attending an IIT's convocation. Watching my friends gleefully receive their respective degrees left me with a sense of sorrow, and a burning desire to be with them out there stretching my hands towards the director in anticipation. I wanted to get out of IIT, face the world, meet the challenges and yet here I was reconciled to the fact there was a long way to go before that could happen.

Money, one may believe or disregard it, has certainly become one of the world's prime desirable object. And placements bring us closer to our tryst with the materialistic world and its pleasures. The temptation to get a job, to earn some money is too overwhelming to be taken lightly. After all, money has become the only solution to all the problems that confront the human kind in this world. We spent a great amount of time preparing our curriculum-vitae, full of honest yet mysterisouly misleading facts about ourselves, with the intention to somehow project ourselves as someone better than what we are. The game of placements makes an interesting one and I somehow tend to think the opponent party is well aware of our tricks, howsoever adroitly we may try to conceal them. Yet the game is played and we all expect to be the winner.

One of the most over-hyped events in the college scenes here in Mumbai is the Malharfest. Though it commands an appreciable participation from colleges in and around Mumbai, the event in itself is highly dry and provides absolutely no environment of enjoyment unlike IIT Bombay during one-of-a-kind Mood Indigo. There are too many officials, volunteers, co-ordinators touting radio sets, talking loudly in them, looking scornfully at everyone else as if they are all there with the sole intention to sabotage their precious event. Countless number of restrictions on people's movements and complicated rules and procedures for registration only adds to a general college going dude's frustration. Amidst all this chaos, one finds students, in the most outlandish of all clothes, trying to look more beautiful than each other and failing miserably. Young women and men flaunting their sexuality, and nothing else, in a desperate bid to grab attention of everyone else. And there are some for who even just clothes or lack of them won't matter. They must wear on their arm a specimen of the human species of the opposite sex as if announcing a trophy of their youthful beauty, an indication of their status above the common general public like us, made even more profound by the scowl that they wear on their face whenever they happen to throw a glance in our direction. All this exhibition only makes me smile to myself as I return back to my hostel by a train running amidst scores of people living in the filth of urban life oblivious to all that was going on within the four walls of the St. Xavier's college.

Latest:
1. Went on a trek to Rajmachi. Enjoyed it.
2. Finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
3. Finally learnt swimming. Can now swim without the annoying "red-cap" on my head. :-)

Do you think Policians are doing their job properly? If not what reforms do you seek from them?Hmmm.. makes an interesting topic. Alas! a straightforward one and absolutely worthless if put in a debate. Politicians, here or anywhere, have never won the satisfaction of the people they govern.

So, do I think they are doing their job properly? The answer to that has been, is and will be NO. Also, let us understand what constitues a politician's job. The answer to this can be either subjective or objectively given. Let us explore each of those aspects one by one.

Subjective: A person comes to me and says, "Hey there! I am Tam, you are a Tam too. I am an Iyer, you are an Iyer too. I am a Hindu, you are a Hindu too. We have always been neglected by the government.These blah blah.. rules are against our interests. VOTE FOR ME. I will ensure we people get JUSTICE."

Another one comes and says, "Hey there! I am a fellow citizen of this country. I see there were so many poor people living in the slums. I want to bring their standard of living up. I want to provide them proper shelter and food. I want to give employment to the unemployed. Btw, I do not have any specific agenda for any specific community."

And I think.. boy! the first person is doing so much for me. What the hell do I care for those people living in the slums. If I am able to get the blah blah.. laws twisted in my favour, me and my children can lead a better life in the society. Let me vote for him/her. The first candidate gets elected, does whatever he had promised to me to ensure that my loyalty to his party does not digress in the next election. The poor are left where they are. I am happy and I do not care if the candidate, in the meantime, has creamed off some of the government money.

To me, the politician works just fine and as long as he is in power, I am happy.

Objective: This is an extremely difficult answer to give. "It is impossible to keep everyone happy all the time". To understand and appreciate what constitutes true progress of our society, even if some of our own individual benefits are hurt in the process, takes a lot more than just literacy or awareness. To me, society is like a huge team where we all are playing a part to take the team ahead. Team-work is the key here. Anyone who gets individualistic hampers the working of the entire team.A few things that an average Indian lacks today are discipline, education (mind you, this is different from literacy), patience, self-esteem and contentment. Most of us carry a tendency to break rules especially when one is asked not to. Most of us are not educated enough to think rationally, scientifically and intelligently. We all want quick results, and will do anything to achieve it. This is evident in reckless driving that we all face on our chaotic roads, crowding at a ticket counter when a queue is mandatory, bribing officials to let our applications through the official machinery faster even though the machinery is fast enough etc.

Also prevalent is the tendency to foolishly and fanatically follow any individual or organization without analyzing their activites, falling at their feet and go on to cause trouble to others, if confronted. The great ancient Indian quality - Contentment is something that we no longer carry. We would still need the best shoes, the best car, the biggest TV, a big house, the best jewelleries, the best clothes etc. We support capitalism (which I equate to pure greed) that leads to exploitation of every available resource around us. But hey, who cares as long as I have all the materialistic pleasures in the world.

Without the above essential ingredients, it is impossible to even expect people to form a notion of what it takes to propel a nation forward. As long as an Indian looks at one's benefit and convenience before others', we will continue to elect politicians who will have self-centered outlook towards the people, soceity, their duties and towards the nation.

Hence, an objective answer to the question whether our politicians are doing their job properly is difficult.

To surmise, I can say politicians do what their people want. To take care of their self-interests. If tomorrow people were to wake up smarter, things would change. It is difficult, especially in a democratic setup, for a government to function against the wishes of its people. Politicians are selfish by nature. They would indeed even work for the welfare for the entire soceity and the country, IF ONLY THE PEOPLE WANT IT.

How do we improve the situation? Well, the initiation for this has to come out of us. We are the new generation. We have to improve ourselves, our outlook, our mindset. We have to think beyond ourselves and think for the country. Not only this, but also propagate this attitude in the next generations. Only then, would the situation improve. It will take some time, but it will definitely happen.

If one ever needs any reason to understand why there are millions in this world who still listen to Ghazals, here are some of them:

1.

Ranjish hee sahee, dil hee dukhaane ke liye aa...

aa phir se mujhe chhod ke jaane ke liye aa....

Oh darling! If you are upset, at least come to admonish me. If only to leave me again, you must come to meet me.

2.

Maikade band karen lakh zamaane waale..

shehar mein kam nahi aankhon se pilaane waale.

The world might close all the wine-bars.. but there is nostopping me from getting intoxicated by the sheer beauty ofa woman's eyes.

3.

Tere pyaar ne mujhe gham diyaa, tere gham ke umra daraaz ho...

Voh zamaana aaye khuda kare, mere pyaar par tujhe naaz ho ...

I have suffered in your love, may you equally suffer too. May Godmake you understand the importance of my love one day.

Try as I might to maintain the emotions of these "Sher"s in the English translation, they can never match the sheer beauty of the original language.

If there is one quality that separates Human Beings from other creations of God on this earth, it is the ability to communicate with peers. From the times of cavemen, when Men (pardon me for my chauvinism; considerate people may read it as Men/Women) started painting on the walls of his cave or invented other extraneous signs besides the natural gifts of sounds or facial expressions that natured has bestowed upon him, was the wheel of communication set to roll, the termination of it is unimaginable as the end of time. The advent of a script to represent verbal language added a new dimension to communication. But the beauty of communication has never been better expressed than from one's own mouth. Even today, expression of one's love for another finds its way out of heart more often through the mouth than the hand.

Human creativity reached its peak, when he added dimensions of time and scale to his speech and invented something that has become such inseparable part of our life that its presence is almost taken for granted. This, which I dare term the greatest invention of Mankind, is Music. So integral to our lives has Music become, that life without it is something that I even shudder to think. It is a universal language; one that touches the hearts of millions regardless of the inherent differences that most Humans would like to believe they carry with respect to another specimen of the same species. It is indeed amazing how a sequence of notes can make one cry, laugh, or jump with joy.

It is a gift handed down to us from our ancestors that we must cherish and preserve.

There are certain moments in life when one has to make some very difficult decisions; decisions that may make or break one’s dream, alter the course of one’s life and possibly other’s too. Dilemmas, in their ever-annoying form, shake the confidence of even God when confronted with situations from which there is no pre-defined escape route. It is then that one is compelled to choose one among the two paths in front; one, that is easy, convenient to follow as one knows the way, but certainly will not take one to one's goal, and there is one that is difficult, unknown, unexplored, yet will provide one immense happiness if it takes one to one's desired destination. Moments like these make life what it is – an unpredictable, unseen, exciting adventure.

What is it that makes dilemmas an annoying, nerve-wrecking experience when the choice before one seems to be so obvious as to merit immediate attention and not result in any hesitation at all? Ironic it is! Fear, in one of its innumerable forms, takes its toll here too. Human Being has always sought convenience. The undying hunger for increasing convenience propels the mankind toward creating and identifying new methods to achieve his or her ambitions. Convenience could be material, emotional or physical. Fear of losing it is overwhelming enough to make one stop and re-think the path that one has chosen to follow. What is it then that gives people the courage to take the plunge and set about on the unexplored path that is so conveniently left, well unexplored? What has made people over the centuries to brave the current and swim in the other direction? The answer to that lies the in golden gift from God to mankind – Love. It is the dream of attaining the immeasurable happiness at the end of the ordeal of the unexplored path that propels one towards it.

However, following the other path does not always guarantee paradise. This is where the gamble of life comes into play and this is where one has to take one’s chances if one has any intentions of winning anything out of it. One may end up on the losing side but then unless one tries one may never ever be able to attain something that one so desperately desired.

In our lives, there are a few moments when one experiences a strong sense of love, desire and passion for someone when one dreams about a wonderful future with the other pictured in it. There arises a feeling of an ever-lasting relationship with one’s beloved; a relation of love, caring, belonging, trusts etc. It is truly amazing how the beauty of one, physical or otherwise, enchants the other to such an extent. While there is one school of thought that seems to attribute this to Fate, there is another that discards this idea of a super-natural role in our lives. According to the latter, love arises out of acquaintances, of the close nature, when one spends an adequate amount of time with the other to understand and appreciate him/her. To some, seeds of love are borne in a friendship.But is falling in love, in the shroud of friendship, justified? Is it not cheating on one’s trust? One who trusted you with all that a friendship demands suddenly faces a question that requires one to discard all the notions and trust that one had built around you and start afresh, only this time with an added ingredient of intimacy. Seems far-fetched, and justifiably so. This is where the fear makes its unwanted appearance. A relation that was convenient to all, where everyone was happy with the course of things, had to be jeopardized for one person’s desire of that extra love. One fears the loss of a friend for want of the intimacy that one has so desperately wanted over a period of time and that one desires to receive from the other person. And that is when the seeds of doubt are sown and a dilemma is born.

The obvious convenient path would be to compromise oneself with the existing situations and tread upon the known and tested path. The other, of course, would be to follow the unknown and wait for the outcome. If it is success, the joy has no bounds. If it is not, then one has to find new ways to achieve it. Upon what theory then should our efforts be based? What would ensure success in situations as these where the probability of a loss, which would be colossal, is much more than the success which would of course be unimaginable? The answer to that again lies in the words of wise men – Honesty is the best policy. A person with a clear conscience has nothing to fear. So long as men have practiced honesty in their efforts and intentions, they have had none to fear, not even God. A voluntary disclosure of one’s love for other as and when it happens is the only way the sanctity of friendship as well as the purity of love can be maintained regardless of the nature of the outcome. A pure mind with a pure heart is blessed by God’s love and all that one requires to do is keep the faith.

Mumbai is a city of about 10 million people! 10 million forms about 1 percent of the population of my country. What is it about this city that brings people here by thousands everyday. With every passing minute, the city grows; grows in every direction; horizontally, vertically, commercially, population-wise. A walk on a street and by the time one comes back home and collapses into one's chair, one would have probably seen close to ten thousand faces; faces that one cannot even recall. They are just faces in the crowd, insignificant, unattractive, unimportant. And they live on, in their unending routine in their bid to survive and feed themselves and their families. Imagine yourself walking through that crowd and think how many heads would turn to look at you and how many of them would actually remember you at the end of their days. The picture to me is analogous to the army of ants that treads about around the door of my room labouring for their daily piece of bread, sugar, honey or whatever they can get their hands on. We disregard their existence. One can walk over them, stamp them, kill them and not feel a thing. They don't make any difference to the world. They are born, they live and they die. How different are we from them? What difference does the privilege of possessing the sixth sense make to distinguish us as humans and not just another species of insignificant animals inhabiting this place.

I ask myself this question a lot of times. And now, standing at the crossroads of my life, where I wish to choose a path to tread upon, this question has come back and hit me with full force. For the first time in my life, I am terrified with the realization that I do not have an answer to it. What is the purpose of our lives if we are just born, study in school, do a job, earn money, struggle throughout our life and die without anyone knowing about it. It would seem probable that even our relatives won't remember us after a few months. Do I really want to live a life like this?

What makes people great? Great people, huh! A few names crop into my mind, Gandhi, Newton, Einstein, Mozart etc. What is it about them that they have been conferred with the rank of greatness? Why is that people still remember them long after they are dead and people who are not just their relatives or kins or family members. What is it about Adolf Hitler, Alexander the Great and great may tyrants of this world that people care to remember them? Frankly, I could think of only one answer - These are the people who have made a difference to mankind, for good or worse. They dared to think different, do different, succeeded immensely or failed miserably but they stuck to their convictions, braved the world, society, believed in themselves and went about doing their work with utmost determination and passion.

In my life, I want to be one like them. One, who has made a difference to the world, for good or worse, though my efforts would be directed towards the former. I want to be one remembered for centuries. Maybe, through different eras. I want to have my name on the history books in a million years from now. I want to prove that I deserve to be called a human - a species that made a mark in the Universe through its gift of intelligence!

But for now, the question remains - How?

Its four in the morning. I am sitting in my lab with a book open in front of me that, ideally, should be commanding all my attention. But strangely, the fear of examination has not yet made its unwanted, but inevitable, presence in my mind. The ecstacy that followed the success of my stage II presentation is still showing its after effects, duly keeping the exam jitters away though there is also this ever increasing realization in the sub-conscious level that an extended stay of this ecstacy can cost me a course! Yes, the examination is tomorrow and the impending doom accompanying it is already creating reverbrations in the annals of my brain. A compromise on sleep is worthwhile on most accounts and especially in sensitive situations as these. However, in my case it does not hold any meaning as it is lost in the frantic battles of Age of Empire or the adrenalin-raising races of Need for Speed. Finally, as the birds wake up to welcome the sun and witness the crack of dawn, I begin to understand the futility of this exercise; my eyes, along with my sub-conscious have already lost the battle to sleep and the mind, well, convinced by the heart that it can and will do its best tomorrow. And with this hope, I bid adieu to this looooooooong day. Hopefully, the new morning will bring new zeal in me to prepare to combat the challenges of the exam day.

Yaaaaaaay! The slides are done. In another 5 hours, I will be sitting nervously chomping away my nails to glory. The presentation is due in less than six hours now. Waaaaah! I am scared. I am not scared that I may be snubbed or battered by the barrage of questions that might be hurled towards me. The biggest worry that I face is whether I would be able to convince the examiners about the fruitfulness of my work. The most nightmare-ish question for a researcher is "What is the use of your research? It is pure rubbish. It is not anything great or significant" or simply "You have wasted your time, son! Don't fool us by showing us this crap". Whoa! the presenter will definitely piss in his/her pants and I don't intend to wash any of my clothes for at least another week now. Anyway, now I gotta go and prepare the talk well. Damn! the time does fly quickly especially when you want to run along with it.

Sigh! So much to do and so less time! I wonder whether I should go to sleep nowand get up in the morning and complete the rest or should I pursue thistill the break of dawn. There are questions like this that will arise inour lives in different contexts. The answer to each one of them must besame. In my opinion, it arises out of only one phenomenon - Discipline. Inour efforts, we should exhibit enough discipline to keep us focussed toour work and not get easily distracted from the desired objective.

It is like running a marathon race. Wandering minds will make one thinkabout whats to be done in the coming days or what may be cooking in themess tonight resulting in de-focussing from the goal that lies ahead.

I want to develop this discipline. I see a way to do this in Chirag'sapproach. I will run Crossy from tomorrow and see if that helps.

Meanwhile, I wish myself the best of luck for my Stage II presentationtoday.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of man would be the most virtuous man. What qualities should one possess to be a member of this exclusive club? I looked around me for a while, peeked into my soul and asked myself the question. Pat came the reply, "The most virtuous man is the one in love".When a man is in love, he is sincere, honest, kind, spreading happiness, generous, calm, brave, patient etc. He attains a status of bliss where he is lost in a wonderland of extreme happiness. And petty things like jealousy, desires, anger do not matter to him. He doesn't see the usefulness or need for these. All that matters to him is the love of his woman and the pleasure of sitting with her, watching her, lost in her eyes, listening to her sweet voice, the frangrance of her hair taking you into a trance making you forget all the sadness in this world.

Maybe, this is what was meant by Moksh!

There are two kinds of people in this world. One who work very hard. The others do research.

Whenever God gives, he tears the roof and gives. And then you spend the entire sum repairing it...

My friend walked into the lab and sat on a machine..... then came a sound "CRASH" ... he vowed never to sit on a machine again. He'd rather use a chair.

well... i don't have exactly much to say now. currently have a project to complete.. so till the time it is over..nbd will get better of me...